Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
