I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
