dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize