Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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