my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
