I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
