Cold hands, warm shart.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
