Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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