we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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