You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
So much Jack, so little girl.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
