It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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