I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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