Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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