i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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