i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
