Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
