do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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