we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
