using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
