I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Success! We fucked roommates!
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
