lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
