PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
