i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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