I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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