I cockslap morals
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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