If that was your dad, he is hot
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
