cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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