Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
wanna go halves on a baby?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize