We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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