I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
