At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
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He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
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Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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