I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Redeem this text for a blowjob
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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