I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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