Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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