if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
