i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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