Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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