I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
