Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
