so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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