I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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