I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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