i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
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Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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