these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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