Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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