he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
