i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
