im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
