It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
no. you can't hotbox the world.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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