My vagina just recognized that song.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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