Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
