not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
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