We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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