why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Im part way to drunk.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
