bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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