so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
please come you make the beer taste better
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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