I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
