Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
