I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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