I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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