No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
