Kiss
Puke
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
