Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
