beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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