I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
