He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
