I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
