I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
